I contemplated how I wanted to share this tradition this year… I wasn’t sure I wanted to add it to this project, but then remembered I started this as a place to share ideas, thoughts, voices. Our theme this month is about relationships–relationships of any kind and definition. Hit contact if you’d like to contribute.  And now, this…

The year 1999 makes me think of Prince, people stockpiling canned goods, and the first Valentine’s resolution I ever made: To Kiss More Boys.  It’s 18 years later, and while I’m just 7 years older, I’m still abiding fully by that first resolution.

Each year there are new people to my life—I really am quite fortunate in that way. When they happen, the losses have been significant but I feel the stardust that landed around me has been as strong as glitter. And each year, I need explain what a Valentine’s Resolution is…exactly. There is no exact.  What I can tell you is that it isn’t a New Year’s resolution; those are typically abandoned like a sock on the side of the road by Valentine’s Day.

The idea was born from a gift on pre-Christmas dinner in New York’s Little Italy.  I gave Rich a Ken doll I’d spent a week outfitting in an S&M suit and giving tattoos and piercings.  He gave me Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City.  On the plane back to Michigan for the holiday, I read the exchange between the two main characters where one explained Valentine’s Resolutions (You can read the full passage here).

“Nah. That’s nickle-dime stuff. Smoking-eating-drinking resolutions. These are the–you know–the hardcore, maybe-this-time, kiss-today-goodbye, some-enchanted-evening resolutions.”

We did resolutions promptly that next Valentine’s Day.  The following year I had just finished writing my resolutions and sent them to Rich.  I learned a few days later he had died.  A few years ago, I lost another dear friend who often humored my some-enchanted-evening whims and would write a resolution or two with me.  In many ways, I continue this as much for them as me.  It’s a way to remember them, and a way to remember to never lose myself again.

And so, for the fiscal love year 2017:

  • Green lipstick. I’ve never tried this; I must.
  • Red underwear. I have a huge aversion to red underwear. I shall overcome.
  • Blue water. I say every year I will make it to the beach. I never do. I need to keep this promise to myself.
  • Purple tutu. I don’t have one; it seems necessary.
  • Red velvet cupcakes. Can I have two reds? I’m not even sure where the color theme came from, but yes, I’ve been thinking about a really good vegan red velvet cupcake since almost last Valentine’s Day… the quest shall be won.

Two reds–it is Valentine’s after all.  There are other things. Goals for lifting. Goals for writing. Goals for having a clean desk… but these are my some enchanted evening.